By: Jessica Bramall
I'm not sure this is even valuable information to share with the internet, but maybe you're a working mom too who's struggling with a lot of the same things. So while I don't really have any proven, actionable answers for you, maybe you'll just find this refreshing to read because of how much you can relate. Navigating this new role as a working mom is hands down one of the hardest things I've ever faced. Before I became a mom, I worked with a handful of women who had multiple kids – and I was never truly able to put myself in their shoes and understand how challenging it is mentally and physically to balance it all. The exhaustion is indescribable. But for me, the worst part is the guilt I feel almost daily. First and foremost, the guilt I feel in my role as a mother. I feel like I don't have the endurance needed to give my son the time and attention he deserves. Far too often am I throwing chicken nuggets in the microwave, letting the tv run for hours on end, skipping our reading time before bed, or letting him stay in his pajamas all day. My heart aches sometimes knowing that I could be offering more of my guidance, patience, love, and attention – especially because he seems so malleable at this age. I feel like all he sees is a tired, short-tempered crazy person who can't seem to get her shit together. Second is my role in my career. I care a lot about my job and the work I've put into getting where I am today. I like the people I work with and appreciate that there's a purpose in what we do. But it's incredibly challenging to show up each and every day with the same energy and drive that I had before I became a mom. I have a new priority in my life, and it's taken a huge toll on me mentally as I balance that with working hard to meet deadlines, produce quality work, and be a team player. The third is to myself as an individual. I don't mean to put myself last, but in terms of priorities, I do seem to take the back burner. I don't make time for any hobbies or things that I enjoy outside of working and parenting. I struggle with motivating myself to exercise and eat healthy. I rarely do my hair or treat myself in a way that reminds me that I'm important too. How do I continue to navigate this new role in life without losing my mind? I feel like I blinked and the first year with Boston flew by. I don't want to spend my time as a mother feeling bitter or disappointed in myself. But like I said before, I don't know what the right answer is to alleviate some of this guilt and stress. And that "right" answer may be different for each of us. The only thing I really have to work off of right now is that progress is impossible without change. That doesn't mean we have to change everything that we think we are doing wrong in our lives all at once. Small progress is still progress. Here are a few things I want to work on in 2023. Not all at once, but I think over time with a bit of self-love (and some discipline) these will help me feel more in control of my life again: - Put my phone away and be more present with Boston when I'm not working. - Don't let the stress of meeting expectations at my job consume me. All I can do is show up and do my best every day. - Make time for myself to exercise once a day, whether it's a full-body workout or a five minute walk outside. - Find a babysitter and spend more alone time with my husband. - Be more vocal and communicate better when I'm feeling overwhelmed. - Rediscover a hobby. I used to love reading, but I can't remember the last time I picked up a book (please send recommendations if you're a book nerd as well). I also want to spend more time on here blogging and sharing my stories as a mom. - Stop sweating the small stuff. The laundry will get done eventually. Chicken nuggets aren't going to ruin my kid's eating habits for the rest of his life. But most importantly, I want to spend more time feeling proud of the things that I AM doing, and stop dwelling so much on the things that I’m not. Who I am today is enough. If you can relate to a lot of these challenges as a working mom, just know that you aren't alone!!! What has really helped motivate me since I've gone back to work is the community of moms that we've built here at @blondemomsblog. It's become a safe space for us to speak our minds, admit our mistakes and struggles, and know that our feelings are valid and shared by so many other moms. We'd love for you to join us too :) xo, Jess Comments are closed.
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